Post by brm on Jun 27, 2010 21:14:52 GMT -5
Colt Cabana: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the second episode of Federation Independent Wrestling! And let me just tell you right now, before this thing gets underway, tonight is the "Four Way Danse Macabre", as Necro Butcher and the hardcore legend Cactus Jack, take on our World Champion Raven, and Hallowicked!"
CC: "But that's later tonight. It seems the lights are dimming here in the FIW arena. I don't know if that's intentional, or we just haven't been keeping up with the power bills!"
CC: "Oh...my mistake ladies and gentlemen. We're about to be introduced to FIW's first ever Pure Champion....CM Punk!"
CC: "The man's a personal friend of mine, but come on, that has nothing to do with him getting a special entrance... I mean...really..."
CC: "But seriously, it's the best entrance in the business."
Punk: "People...you have just witnessed the only thing on this show worth seeing, and that's the Pure Champion, CM PUNK! I mean, let's face it, it's only fitting that a straight edge like myself is the Pure Champion."
Punk: "And quite frankly, I think my so called peers in this pure division are as big of a joke as the VHS tape we film this show on. Quackenbush is decent, but he can't meet the height requirement to get a title shot. Secondly, Spanky and Jack Evans being in contention for the "pure" title is the biggest insult this belt could have. And finally..."
Generico: "Sosténgase en un minuto, Punko!"
Generico: "Las habilidades del EL Generico se deben nunca incluso poner para un discusión, especialmente cuando un título del calibre puro se pone en esa oración!!"
Punk: "This is exactly what I mean! This is the caliber my opponents are going to be? This guy's a complete joke!"
Generico: Ese título que en este momento se sujeta libremente alrededor de su cintura se debe poner en mi hombro muscular, y él, después de que I BRAINBUSTAAAAA su cabeza
Punk: "I don't like where you're pointing there man, and I can't understand you, so I can only assume..."
CC: "Thank goodness Keith Williams is throwing his hat into this little mix. I can smell even more wackiness ensuing now!"
KW: "Ok guys. The siesta is over. I'm here because we're going to talk business. You see, despite what the wrestlers and the fans might think, I'm running a business here. I'm about the money. And speaking of money, I've got an announcement to make. Next week, we're not hosting FIW at the good old FIW arena. No. For the first time ever, FIW will be running the Hammerstein Ballroom, in beautiful New York City!"
CC: "HOLY SHOOT! You talk about stepping things up! That show is going to be huge!"
Punk: "Well, that is good news, because it's about time this promotion gave me a proper stage to perform on."
KW: "And that's exactly what I expect from a champion Punk. You see, I know you're good. You might even be the best going today, and that's why I'm putting I disagree on the line running the Hammerstein. It's going to be you one on one with Generico, for the Pure Title next week in NYC. And if you two put on the show I know you two can, we just might boost this promotion into the big leagues. Because, being a champ I know you know, it's all about business."
CC: "Wow! I still can't get over us running the Hammerstein next week, and now we here it's Punk vs. Generico headlining! Things can only get better from here!"
Generico: "El Hammersteino?"
RVD: "Hey..it's everyone's favorite wrestler...Rob...Van...Dam...and I've got to say, this place is looking pretty cool right about now."
RVD: "But...I'm not really in any kind of a rush to kick anyone's face in...I mean, I'm collecting checks...and Kendrick's got a revolving door on his locker room...hey, I'm perfectly content just watching the ride...but I here it's the Hammerstein ballroom next week...hmmm...they sure love to chant RVD in that place..."
RVD: "So maybe I'll take a trip to the city next week. I mean, the shows gonna be great...and maybe...just maybe...I'll decide to let 'um chant for everyone's favorite wrestler...ROB....VAN...DAM!"
CC: "And welcome back everyone, and are you guys ready for a real massacre. Brain Damage is ready for his rematch tonight, and it looks like he wasn't kidding about the mythical hardcore title. He's actually got a championship belt with him!"
CC: "Wow. It looks like he's got the Punisher World Title! The guy probably did that with some spray paint a couple minutes ago! And with our luck, Marvel's gonna sue us over it!"
CC: "And, there you can see our official FIW referee! He's not much, but dammit, we needed a ref!"
CC: "And here comes Mondo. Man, these two destroyed each other last time, and now they're back for more! This is going to be something folks."
CC: "And it looks like Mondo is setting up that ladder in the entrance way. There's no easy way down from that."
CC: "And Brain Damage is about to introduce Mondo to a steel chair. This encounter can't end well."
CC: "He can't....He..."
CC: "Oh shoot..."
CC: "MONDO WITH A CORKSCREW MOONSAULT OFF THE LADDER! He smacked that chair into Damage's face!"
CC: "Oh boy. The first table of the night has shown it's face. Looks like this match is going to pick up real quick now."
CC: "I can only assume Nick Mondo realizes that Damage is putting the title on the line tonight, and Mondo quite frankly has nothing to loose here. And I thought he was crazy last time."
CC: "You've got to be kidding me! Brain Damage is sliding his own freaking table into the ring too! We've got two tables in the ring folks."
CC: "And it seems like they're both gonna let each other set it up. Man, I guess it's a code of honor among the lords of the hardcore. I don't know."
CC: "What a punch by Brain Damage. This guys fists are worse than a chair shot...or at least that's what they tell me."
CC: "Oh no...Damage is setting something up. I can only assume he's thinking Package Piledriver! He's gonna end this right now!"
CC: "HOLY FREAKING SHOOT! I'm serious here, Brain Damage could be hurt in there! That was just nasty!"
CC: "The ref is checking him after that one. Man, that did not look pretty folks."
CC: "What..what is Mondo doing..."
CC: "WHAT! "Sick" Nick Mondo just hitting Brain Damage with The Mondo Sledge, when he could be dead in the ring. No wonder this guy's called "sick"!
CC: "Mondo with the cover....1...2..."
CC: "Kick out at 2."
CC: "And thankfully, it looks like Brain Damage is moving around.."
CC: "And Mondo is setting that broken table up anyway..."
CC: "What is Brian Damage looking for.."
CC: "Oh no. Not light tubes. They're gonna for a new level of violence here tonight, with the title on the line."
CC: "OH SHOOT!"
CC: "HOLY SHOOT! Mondo just got clocked!"
CC: "Oh my freaking shoot...that's a whole board of light tubes!"
CC: "Mondo better be careful. He's up against a pissed off Brain Damage with light tubes!"
CC: "OW! What a stiff kick!"
CC: "What the..."
CC: "SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB TO THE WOODEN FLOOR!! Brain Damage could have a broken back!"
CC: "And Mondo is touring the ring area."
CC: "Oh great. A Kendo Stick."
CC: "Wait...what is Mondo doing here?"
CC: "Folks, we've got a light tube TABLE in the ring right now!"
CC: "Flying chair!"
CC: "That had to rattle Mondo pretty bad."
CC: "A Swing and miss from Brain Damage.."
CC: "Oh boy...Mondo setting up for something."
CC: "LIFE CUTTER! MONDO WITH A LIFE CUTTER THROUGH THE LIGHT TUBE TABLE!"
CC: "COVER!!
CC: 1..............2...................
CC: "3!!! "Sick" Nick Mondo wins the hardcore title! What a match."
CC: "That puts the Mondo Damage fued at 1 to 1, and Mondo's holding the gold! I can only assume Damage is not going to just let this one end like that."
CC: " "Sick" Nick Mondo is, I guess, your hardcore champion! We've got to take a break now folks, stay tuned!"
Jack Evans: "Yo Kendrick, what's going down in this place anyway? I mean, we ain't even booked tonight. What? You lose a match and you suddenly don't get booked?"
Kendrick: "Jack, that is not the problem that we are experiencing first hand. What if we aren't even under contract? I mean, no one called me on a telephone and told me to show up here."
Evans: "Man, I thought we were FIW guys now! I guess it's just like when you see someone on Velocity, and assume they're on the roster for real. I mean, what if Crowbar thought he had a contract in 2003?"
Kendrick: "Now you're tinking on the fourth wall Jack. Don't think about contracts. Let's just assume we are under contract. How are we gonna get over? I'm thinking Raven man. I mean, Hallowicked is booked, and all he had to do was go beat up somebody Raven was fighting. He's got a storyline now!"
Evans: "And what about chicks? I mean, we need some chicks around here. It's starting to feel way too much like a sausage fest in this place."
Kendrick: "Oh, I think KW has plans for some chicks, but there's no compete clauses or some stuff that's keeping them from showing up yet. Something about Series 3, or something I don't understand. Man, it's a pretty good view from atop the fourth wall."
Evans: "Where bad comics burn man, where bad comics burn!"
CC: "And we're back. Mike Quackenbush is in the ring right now, and we're about to see who his opponent is."
CC: "Wow...what's happening with the lighting? It's not Punk again is it?"
CC: "What the...GANGREL? Gangrel is in FIW?"
CC: "Gangrel is one of the best grapplers in the business, and I have not seen him compete on the big stage in years. This could really be his time."
CC: "And I see he brought the blood with him too. I can only feel sorry for Quack in this situation. I don't think he knew he was facing Gangrel tonight."
CC: "I think this match could be a little one sided. I mean, Quack was obviously not prepared for a man the caliber of Gangrel, and Gangrel is one rough customer in that ring."
CC: "Irish whip in the corner from Quack..."
CC: "Wait, Gangrel just reversed it..."
CC: "WOW! Big release belly to belly suplex. He just c0cked his hips, and launched Quack!"
CC: "Gangrel setting up something here..."
CC: "Corkscrew elbow! Cover!"
CC: "1...............2..."
CC: "You aren't going to put Quack away that quick!"
CC: "Looks like Gangrel's game plan is to just stay on Quack, and beat him down..."
CC: "What is Quack..."
CC: "Oh SHOOT!" Springboard hurricanranna! That's how Quack can beat Gangrel, approach him with moves he's not expecting!"
CC: "And Gangrel just stopping Quack's momentum dead..."
CC: "Uh Oh...Gangrel has Quack up for a suplex..."
CC: "Float over Suplex into a cover! If you haven't seen Gangrel in action before, he's the human suplex machine that nobody ever talks about. This man can out suplex the best in the business."
CC: "And a kick out at 2.."
CC: "And Gangrel is just right on top of Quack after that near fall. This is smart ground and pound right here."
CC: "Looks like Gangrel is locking another suplex in..."
CC: "WOW! That's Quack using his head! He's using Gangrel's powerful suplexes as escape routes!"
CC: "OH BOY! Quack is thinking Quackendriver! He's gonna try to end this before he's in over his head!"
CC: "HOLY FREAKING SHOOT! Quack just got spiked on his freaking head! Gangrel reversed the driver into his Impaler DDT! Quack is DONE!"
CC: "1..............2..................3......It's academic at this point."
CC: "Gangrel just impressed a lot of people tonight. He destroyed Mike Quackenbush, and in nasty fashion. This is one guy that FIW's finest have to keep their eyes on."
Raven: "Cactus Jack...Cactus Jack. That name alone suggests an archaic connotation, and appropriately so. Cactus, you're simply an old man, hiding behind any alias that still offers shelter for a shell."
Raven: "And Necro Butcher? If you told me he was Cactus' father, I wouldn't think twice about it. Tonight will not be a match, but a free pass given to me, to beat up a couple of geriatrics, until I feel like I've made myself look good enough."
Raven: "And then there's Hallowicked. He was the first, and you are correct to assume that means there will be more."
Raven: "You see, I offer degenerates, misfits, and the misunderstood a place, to express themselves."
Raven: "And there will be more. Very soon..."
Raven: "Cactus, Necro....consider yourselves lucky. Right now, you only have to deal with me and Hallowicked. Take advantage of that. Because soon....very soon....there will be more."
Raven: "Quote the Raven...Nevermore."
CC: "Welcome ladies and gentleman, to Plug Cabana! The place where I mark out over what's coming up next in the world of FIW"
CC: "At our next show, we will be broadcasting live from the HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM in New York City! Tickets are on sale tomorrow, so make sure you get them early. The show is going to be stacked, and already announced for it is CM Punk going one on one against El Generico for the FIW Pure Title! This match alone will be worth the price of admission!"
CC: "I've also been told that if either Cactus Jack or Necro Butcher win the 4 Way Danse Macabre tonight, that they will get a shot at Raven's FIW World Heavyweight Championship at the Hammerstein! This match just got a little bit more interesting! And speaking of that match, it's up next!"
CC: "And here we go. Folks, you are about to witness the Four Way Danse Macabre. That name alone, should outline for you what is about to go down in that ring. This will not be pretty folks."
CC: "And Cactus telling our referee that he should wait on the outside for this one. Hey, you wouldn't have to even tell me that."
CC: "Man, I can feel it. Big fight atmosphere is filling the FIW Arena!"
CC: "And there he is. The FIW Champion, Raven."
CC: "And it looks like Hallowicked brought some toys with him!"
CC: "DID YOU HEAR THAT! Necro just cracked Raven over the head with that steel chair!"
CC: "And Necro just sent Hallowicked mask first into that barbwire bat! And this match is officially underway, with Cactus and Necro in control."
CC: "And Necro wants Raven in the ring."
CC: "And Cactus Jack just tossed some of the weapons into the ring! Things are about to get nasty."
CC: "Raven just smashing Necro in the face with the World Title! I wouldn't be surprised if the only reason he won that thing was to do that!"
CC: "And Raven is finally getting out of his jacket. Now he's ready."
CC: "And it looks like Hallowicked is setting up Necro in the corner with that trash can!"
CC: "Necro just tossed the can into Hallowicked's head! Maybe that guy should loose the mask!"
CC: "And Raven is tossing a table into the ring. Given the history of tables used tonight, this could get real ugly real quick."
CC: "Cactus Jack is setting Raven up for something here..."
CC: "It's looking like it's suplex time..."
CC: "Cactus suplexing Raven onto that table, and it didn't budge! That has to hurt!"
CC: "Necro has Hallowicked up for what looks like a powerbomb..."
CC: "NO! Hallowicked with a hurricanranna! What a reversal!"
CC: "And Raven is setting up that table. And that's one hardcore table!"
CC: "Oh boy. Cactus has another table on the outside, and he's setting it up on the guard rails and the ring apron!"
CC: "Hallowicked looking for a suplex, but this time Necro escapes the move."
CC: "HOLY SHOOT! NECRO JUST GERMAN SUPLEXED HALLOWICKED ONTO THAT TABLE, AND HALLOWICKED JUST BOUNCED RIGHT OFF! That was just sick!"
CC: "And Cactus with some hard right hands to Raven..."
CC: "Oh no. Cactus is on the turnbuckle. That table has not been friendly so far!"
CC: "Cactus Jack elbow dropping Raven right though that table! Finally, it's been put to rest!"
CC: "Hallowicked has that barbwire bat in his hands...look out Cactus!"
CC: "And a shot right to Cactus's head..."
CC: "And Cactus is busted right open. And I think Necro just back suplexed Raven out of the ring!"
CC: "HOLY SHOOT! Hallowicked is just grinding that barbwire into Cactus' forehead! This is going too far!"
CC: "This ring is starting to look like a warzone!"
CC: "And Necro and Raven are busy on the outside..."
CC: "RAVEN EFFECT! RAVEN EFFECT DDT ON THE WOODEN FLOOR! Necro is not moving! Oh my shoot!"
CC: "I think Necro might be done in this match. Cactus is now 2 on 1 in this Danse Macabre!"
CC: "Hallowicked has Cactus set up in the corner. He has something in mind here..."
CC: "And Cactus ducks Hallowicked, and sends him out to the table! This cannot end well!"
CC: "Oh no....oh no...he can't do this...he..."
CC: "PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE TO THE FLOOR! OH MY FREAKING SHOOT! THEY'RE BOTH DEAD!"
CC: "Raven...Raven has just taken some kind of bag out from under the ring! I can't imagine what he's got in there...
CC: "And it looks like Raven's trying to clear the ring somewhat to make room for...oh no....what is..."
CC: "Oh my shoot. TACKS! THUMBTACKS! THIS IS SICKENING!"
CC: "Necro is in trouble. Necro has to do something..."
CC: "Necro found another barbwire bat under the ring! And he's got a hold of Raven with it!"
CC: "He just ripped Raven's shirt off! It's hanging on that barbwire!"
CC: "Oh no...Oh no...Necro's setting Raven up..."
CC: "NECRO BUTCHER WITH A SIT OUT TIGERBOMB TO RAVEN ON THE THUMBTACKS!!!"
CC: "COVER!!!!!!!!1..............2.................."
CC: "3!!!!! NECRO BUTCHER JUST PINNED THE CHAMP RAVEN!!""
CC: "OH MY SHOOT! LOOK AT THIS CARNAGE!!"
CC: "Necro is looking at that FIW World Championship, and he knows he has a shot at it in New York City!"
CC: "Necro just throwing that belt over Raven's lifeless body! That's gotta send a message to Raven, and the Flock!"
CC: "Well, we're out of time here tonight! See you in New York City!"