Post by brm on Mar 9, 2011 22:10:32 GMT -5
Cactus Jack: Scotty....the ranks are getting thin! Necro's gonna be coming to get us! What do we do!
Raven: Don't worry Jack...don't you realize that I'm the one in control here? Necro doesn't do anything I haven't already prepared for. He only thinks he's the one making decisions.
Cactus: But he's gonna be here tonight! What's going to keep him busy!?
Raven: It's not hard to find new souls willing to open their minds to the alternative. So I just opened my wings, and found a new friend...
Brain Kendrick: Hey Jack! I DID IT!! I'm in the Flock, and I'm in the main event!
Raven: Hey Necro, don't hurt him too much...Quote the Raven...Nevermore.
Colt Cabana: Thank you ladies and gentlemen for tuning into FIW independent television on your local syndicated network. This is "Classic" Colt Cabana broadcasting the final stop before The Winter Classic!
CC: And it looks like we're starting off with YOUR Pure Champion, CM Punk!
CC: We've seen in recent weeks that El Generico has had a problem with CM Punk, and apparently this week, Generico has an "amigo" who's going to challenge Punk for his title.
CC: I don't really see how this is all that fair for Punk. I mean, he doesn't even know who he has to face. But if there is anybody who can laugh at this sort of mystery, it's CM Punk!
CC: And who are these people saying Punk's not a fighting champ? He's defending the belt against a handpicked mystery opponent.
CC: And there it is. The FIW Pure Championship. CM Punk is the first and only Pure Champion here in FIW, and he's not one for sharing. I should know!
CC: Ok, let's see who's Generico's friend...
CC: WHAT! Sharkboy!? Are you serious! This is an insult to Punk, and the entire Pure Division!
CC: And Punk is talking this over with the ref, and I don't blame him. Punk is a champion, he shouldn't have to face just anybody!
CC: And it really looks like this is going to happen...well, at least Punk won't have to strain himself going into The Winter Classic in Queens.
CC: And Punk just starts this match off with a punch. It looks like Punk is not amused at this "challenge."
CC: Punk goes for the irish whip...
CC: And Sharkboy reversing momentum here...
CC: HOLY! Punk with a huge shining wizard off the ropes! Maybe Sharkboy's realizing at this point that this is no joke, Punk is not taking this lightly.
CC: Punk setting Sharkboy up here for something...
CC: WOW! Punk just kneeing Sharkboy in the head! Punk just targeting the head of Sharkboy early on.
CC: And it looks like maybe the ref is taking exception with Punk's stiff style, but I don't think Punk cares. The Pure title is not joke to him.
CC: Just stomping Sharkboy's head again..
CC: Oh no...he can't be thinking Plunge...not this early
CC: What the...Sharkboy reversing Punk!
CC: DEAD SEA DROP! Out of nowhere!
CC: 1.......2...........
CC: And Punk kicking out of the Dead Sea Drop. Man, that was close...
CC: And Punk just stopping Sharkboy's momentum with a big elbow to the head...
CC: Man, Punk goes back to the head with a stiff kick. I wonder if Sharkboy's actually smiling under that mask...
CC: And Punk goes back on the attack...
CC: And that looked nasty folks. Sharkboy landed pretty awkwardly on the back on his neck on that suplex. I almost wonder if Punk was trying to stuff him bad on purpose. If I could make a guess, I'd say Punk's pissed about this whole situation.
CC: Punk making his way to the apron, and I think it's springboard time.
CC: WHAT THE
CC: STUNNER! Sharkboy just stunned Punk out of that springboard!
CC: Cover! 1............2.............
CC: And Punk kicking out again. He had better keep his guard a little higher, even if Sharkboy is just a joke.
CC: Sharkboy setting something up here, could be a hurricanranna attempt...
CC: Holy! Punk reversing that 'ranna attempt into a brutal powerbomb. Yup, he's pissed.
CC: d**n, now he's just face washing Sharkboy in the corner...
CC: What a stiff shot to the face! We can't see it, but Sharkboy's probably busted open under that mask by this point...
CC: And it looks like Punk is thinking Plunge once again, and he might get it this time.
CC: Oh, maybe not! Sharkboy reversing it sending Punk plummeting to the mat!
CC: And now Sharkboy is perched on the top rope, with something in mind...
CC: Crossbody!
CC: WHAT! Punk caught him...and he's set up!
CC: GO 2 SLEEP! GO 2 SLEEP! PUNK just nailed Sharkboy with the Go 2 Sleep! And this thing is over!
CC: Cover...1.........2.............
CC: ....3!!! Punk beats Sharkboy for his second sucessful Pure Title defense.
CC: I'd say it was a hard fought battle, but I'm not sure that would be true. Punk seemed to angrily steam roll through this "challenge" set up by El Generico!
CC: And there it is. The title that Punk takes very seriously. And he still has it. And it looks like Punk's asking for a microphone.
CC: Thanks, now get out of my ring!
Punk: Sharkboy!? That's the "amigo" you had that was gonna take my title Generico? Do you think this is a joke? Do you think the Pure Division is a joke? Well, it's not gonna be while I'm the champ. Anybody who wants to make a mockery of the Pure Division, just take a look at Sharkboy's head. I kicked the smile right off that pathetic mask.
Punk: So, I guess there's nobody in FIW that can compete on my level when it comes to an actual wrestling match, so I guess I'll just be a spectator at the Winter Classic in Queens...
El Generico: Hold on a second Punk...Que? You thought Sharkboy was your challenge? Si...he's mi amigo, but he wasn't your challenge...your challenge es right here...
CC: What the heck is going on...Sharkboy wasn't Generico's challenge? Than who is it?
CC: HOLY SHOOT!! HOLY SHOOT!! That's CHRIS HERO! CHRIS HERO IS HERE IN FIW!!! HOLY FREAKING SHOOT!
CC: Chris Hero is in the FIW arena, and he's staring down CM Punk! Somebody, book this match!
CC: And Punk is speechless, and rightfully so. This is no joke Punk, this is Chris Hero, in FIW!
Jack Evans: Man, did y'all see me last show? I beat the Amazing Red, which makes me amazing? Yeah...
Evans: And now, I'm going into the Winter Classic with a winning streak. I wonder who they'll line up for the Prince of Parkland, Jack Evans!
RVD: Prince of Parkland, huh? Speaking of past accomplishments, did you see me pin your buddy Kendrick? Maybe you're ready to take on a real challenge?
RVD: If you really want to see how good you are, come on down to Queens and we'll see who's the best at the Winter Classic. But I'll save you some trouble. It's Rob....Van....Dam!
Evans: Oh yeah...you better watch out, or you'll find yourself in the middle of an Evans Experience.
RVD: Experience? I'm down for that...I'm Rob Van Dam...
RVD: I'm the Whole F***ing Show!
CC: And once again, this is Colt Cabana for hype central. FIW's Winter Classic is our next stop on the Independent express, and the card is finally shaping up. Just booked tonight, CM Punk one on one with Chris Hero for the FIW Pure Title in what I am already picking as the match of the night. Also, Brain Damage is hosting a light tube open challenge, which I'm sure will be just as violent as anything else you've seen with him. Also just signed, Rob Van Dam goes one on one with Jack Evans with respect on the line. If Punk / Hero wasn't good enough for you, this should give you your moneys worth. And finally, Necro Butcher goes one on one with Cactus Jack in a Raven's Rules match - if Necro wins, he gets a shot at Raven's FIW Title. And this is all coming to you from the Elk's Lodge in Queens, NY! Make your plans to be there now!
CC: Oh no. Kendrick's being led like a lamb to the slaughter here tonight. He thinks he's in the flock and the main event, but he's actually standing face to face with the Necro Butcher, who's out for blood.
CC: But at least he seems happy about it. I mean, maybe he doesn't realize who he's fighting yet.
CC: This could get ugly folks.
CC: And there he is, the Necro Butcher. And Brain Kendrick represents an obstacle between him and Raven at this point.
CC: And this match starts out with Necro wailing on Kendrick. How am I not surprised. Welcome to the main event kid.
CC: And Necro's just not letting up!
CC: And now Necro is finally pulling that ridiculous jacket off Kendrick. At least now it won't get blood stained!
CC: And mercifully, Necro drops to the outside.
CC: Maybe it's not mercifully, as Necro is tossing some furniture into the ring.
CC: HOLY! Kendrick just get sandwiched between those two chairs!
CC: Oh no...this doesn't look good.
CC: Cannonball! Necro with a huge frontlip on to Kendrick between two chairs! That was freaking brutal!
CC: And Kendrick is busted right open. Now he's really the sacrificial lamb.
CC: And Necro is picking up the lifeless body of Kendrick...
CC: HOLY! Kendrick was just tossed over the top to the floor, landing hard!
CC: And where is Necro headed...
CC: Oh no...Necro's got a table...
CC: WOW! Necro suplexing that table right on top of Kendrick! Pulling a page out of Sandman's book there!
CC: Oh no. I think things are about to get a bit more brutal here. I see barbwire in that trash can. Maybe he's trying to send a message to Cactus Jack before their big match up.
CC: Dropkick! Kendrick dropkicked that table right into the face of Necro Butcher! I think that was the first offensive move by Kendrick!
CC: Kendrick needs to slow this match down, and build some kind of offense here.
CC: And that's the way. Kendrick has that steel chair!
CC: Holy Shoot! Necro just shoved that barbwire bat into the shoulder of Brian Kendrick!
CC: HOLY! He's just raking it across his chest!
CC: This is sick! Necro is a man possessed. I bet you he's seeing Cactus Jack in Kendrick right now!
CC: Wow. Kendrick is a bloody mess. The ref is checking on him, and rightfully so.
CC: What...Necro setting something up. This could be very bad...
CC: HOLY SHOOT! Necro just powerbombed Kendrick to the outside, with a nasty landing on that table! I think he even hit the guardrail on the way down! Man that was bad.
CC: And Necro is pinning Kendrick on the floor. This is eerily similar to the events that went down at the New York Invasion. Kendrick got thrown through a table on the outside and pinned on the hard floor. I can't help but feel Necro's sending a message to Raven and Cactus. He's out to destroy them.
CC: Necro Butcher finally gets his hands on Cactus Jack at the Winter Classic, in what I predict will be the bloodiest, most brutal match in FIW history. That's it for our broadcast, let's sign off with our Pulp Fiction Promo reel!
El Generico: Hey Punko! El Hero, is here!
Chris Hero: I heard you needed a real challenge Punk, well, The King of Wrestling is here to meet that challenge.
Hero: I respect the Pure Division just as you do Punk, and this will be a matter of respect, unless you make it something different. See you in Queens, Punk.
Necro: Hey Raven, don't let this fist fool you. Kendrick's blood isn't on my hands...it's on yours.
Cactus Jack: I’m sorry Necro. I’m sorry it has to be this way. I really thought you were the one I could pass the torch on to…I really thought you were my son. But no. You had to ask for your inheritance BEFORE I WAS DEAD! Do you know what it’s like to see your son…put his hand out..and says “I’m sorry dad, but you’re not dying quick enough…CAN I SQUANDER YOUR LEGACY AWAY!!!
You see Necro, I tried to let you down easy. I tried to explain my actions, but you didn’t seem to get it. You just couldn’t understand this knowledge that is past your years. So, I’m going to have to be just a little bit more forceful in my discipline.
There’s an old story of the shepherd and his 100 sheep. As the shepherd was bringing all his sheep in for the night…counting them…96….97….98….99……he realized, that one of his sheep was missing. He had warned them…”Don’t go out after dark…don’t wonder off the path…” but this one sheep had wondered off in the dark. Well, the shepherd went out into the darkness, looking for the lost sheep…and when he found that sheep….he pulled it out of the briar patch….and brought it back to the herd. But the shepherd knew he had to make it known to the sheep that he couldn’t just go wondering off every night…so the shepherd took his cane…and he broke the sheep’s leg.
He broke it out of love Necro…he broke it…out of love. I love you Necro. Believe me when I say that. And at the Winter Classic…I’ll show you my love….son.
Shark Boy pulled off very few moves until CM Punk got ahold of him. Chris Hero showed up, Hopefully we get to see Hero vs Punk vs Generico vs ? soon. The Whole F'n Show is going to face Jack Evans soon which will be great! Man, Kendrick got himself destroyed! Cactus Jack's promo was great, you really showed his emotional psycho side! I hope it is actually shown that Necro gets his hands on Raven. I can only expect big things for FIW Winter Classic. Hopefully, Raven gets involved somehow to help Necro get beat. Poses were great. I hope Winter Classic is here soon, but take your time man.